When Falling Off Means Staying Off - Va'etchanan

If you have not heard from me in a while, here is why. Pesach happened, life got busy, and I missed a few weeks of writing. Then a few weeks became a few months because once I fall off something, my brain decides that I am apparently never doing it again.

It is not only writing. If I miss posting a tefillin picture in the Squad, I am done. If I break a diet, I am done. If I stop running, I am done. I do not seem to understand the concept of missing one day and continuing the next. Every small lapse immediately becomes a full organizational shutdown.

This week is Shabbos Nachamu, the Shabbos of comfort after Tisha B’Av, and we read Parshas Vaetchanan. In this parsha, Moshe begs to enter Eretz Yisrael, and Hashem tells him no. This was what he had spent his life working toward, and the answer was still no.

Yet Moshe did not decide that because he would not finish the journey, the journey had been meaningless. He kept teaching. He kept preparing the Jewish people. He kept doing what he could, even though the ending was not the one he wanted.

I think that is the part I need to learn. Missing a few weeks does not mean I stopped being a writer. Falling off a routine does not mean I need to remain off it. Even if restarting is not perfect, and even if I miss again, at least it is a start.

Nachamu does not mean everything has already been rebuilt. It means that even after loss, there can still be a next step.

So, this is mine. I missed a few weeks. I am late. I fell off. And I am writing again.

Good Shabbos,

All the best

Avroham Y. Ross