The Cry Before the Calm

Sometimes my son Shimon wakes up in the middle of the night. Usually it’s when he has a cold, but sometimes there’s no reason at all. When that happens, I go to him, give him a bottle, and often stay in his room. Especially because if I leave, he cries. Once I’m there, he wants to play. I tell him it’s time to sleep. I tell him I have work in a few hours and that I’m tired. I tell him I’ll play with him in the morning. None of it works. Then, almost every time, about an hour later, he drops the bottle, or I say “Shimon! It is time to go to sleep!” . He cries. And then, almost immediately, he falls asleep.

Parshas Vayigash has a moment like that. Yosef explains himself. He reassures his brothers. He tells them it wasn’t their fault. He lays everything out clearly. And then the Torah says he could not hold it in anymore and he cries.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe writes that this was necessary. As long as everything stayed held in, the story could not move forward. The tears were what allowed the reunion to actually happen.

Not every situation is fixed by holding it together. I often struggle with bottling emotions, whether it’s to stay professional or to keep moving forward. Sometimes the release is what allows things to settle. A cry isn’t always the problem. Sometimes it’s the step right before calm.

The lesson is to notice where we are forcing ourselves to stay composed when something needs to be felt. This week, instead of pushing past that moment, pause. Let it surface in a healthy way. You may find that what comes after is a lot more peaceful than what came before. Good Shabbos

All the best! Avroham Y Ross