The Best Conversation I Had All Week - Bo

A few weeks ago, I took a long Uber ride from Brooklyn to Bayswater. Sometimes, those late-night rides are the best places to think. I figured since I was paying for the ride anyway, I might as well get some free therapy out of it. The driver and I ended up talking about everything from religion and marriage to friendships. By the time I got out of the car, I actually felt lighter, like I had let a huge weight off my chest.

I’ve been thinking a lot about why that conversation felt so easy. I realized that the darkness actually helped. Because it was night and the car was dim, I couldn't fully see the driver's face. That anonymity made me feel safe enough to stop performing and just be real.

It is interesting because we see a very different kind of darkness in this week's Parsha, Bo. When the Torah describes the Plague of Darkness, Rashi points out that it was more than just a physical blackout where people bumped into furniture. He explains the phrase Lo ra’u ish et achiv to mean that the darkness was so thick "a man could not see his brother."

In my Uber ride, the darkness was a gift because it stripped away the distractions and let us connect. In Egypt, however, the darkness was a curse because it isolated everyone. The real plague was that they stopped seeing the human beings standing right next to them. That is really the definition of Exile. You can be surrounded by people and yet feel completely alone because no one is truly "seeing" each other.

We live in a world that is constantly lit up by screens, but we often suffer from that same Egyptian darkness. We get so busy and distracted that we stop noticing the people we love even when they are right in front of us. My goal for myself this week is to try and create that "Uber moment" at home. I decided to start with just 15 minutes right when I walk in the door. I want to put the phone down, look my family in the eye, and really listen.

Good Shabbos

All the best

Avroham Yehudah Ross