Sefer Hamitzvos: Positive Mitzvah #4 – Fearing Hashem

Have you ever noticed how we are often our own harshest critics?

At work, we had a seminar about a therapy approach called Internal Family Systems. One idea that stood out to me was how a child might become very critical of themselves as a defense mechanism. If they criticize themselves first, it hurts less when others do.

IFS explains that once a person understands these defenses, they can redirect them for something positive. A critical voice can become something constructive, helping a person grow instead of tearing themselves down.

This idea made me think about the mitzvah of fearing Hashem. If I am being honest, fear is not an idea that naturally inspires me. I connect much more easily to positive actions. I like the idea of building something good rather than focusing on avoiding something bad. But the Rambam lists fear of Hashem as its own mitzvah. That made me realize that restraint itself is part of a healthy relationship with Hashem.

A simple way I thought about this was through weight loss. You can do something positive for yourself, like exercising, or you can refrain from something harmful, like unhealthy food. Both lead to the same result. Exercise feels productive because it is an action. But restraint is also a positive force, even though it feels different.

The same idea applies to our relationship with Hashem. Some mitzvos involve doing something positive. Others involve stopping ourselves from doing something we know is not right. Fear of Hashem is not about anxiety. It is about awareness and restraint. It is the recognition that our actions matter and that we want our choices to reflect the relationship we have with Him.

Sometimes growth comes from what we build, and sometimes growth comes from what we choose not to do. Both are part of living a life of mitzvos.

All the best,

Avroham Yehudah Ross