One Mile at a Time - Tazria-Metzora

You may have noticed that once again, I stopped writing. A common theme in our relationship. The reason I haven’t been writing is that I haven’t felt like I had anything to say that would be monumentally different. My life has been busy, but not inspiring. I wake up, I learn, I go to work, I work more, I go to school, and spend some time at home, but that is the cycle. It isn’t bad, but it is generally the same.

Over Pesach, something was different. We were by my in-laws, and during chol hamoed I realized I can’t keep doing the same thing every day and expect to feel different. I can’t sit for 14 hours and expect not to gain 30 pounds or feel like my body won’t fall apart. That was the moment something shifted. I made a decision. I bought running shoes, made a physical therapy appointment for after Pesach, and decided to stop drinking alcohol during the last days of Yom Tov. I wanted to feel more present.

Later that week, we were in Waterbury. I had the shoes, but I was still dragging my feet. Running is hard. But after a long day, I told my brother Menachem, “Let’s go.” That night, we started by picking the steepest hill in Waterbury and doing a run-walk for one mile. During my stay, we did it two more times, even bringing in our brother Sholom.

The parsha this week, Tazria-Metzora, is all about the journey of spiritual and physical purification, particularly related to tzara’as. A person goes through something difficult and then slowly returns. That’s where I am right now! Not quite where I want to be, but definitely not where I was either. I’m somewhere in the middle, and honestly, I think I’m in the right spot. Since Pesach, Menachem and I have both been running daily; me in New York, and him in Waterbury with a few friends. We keep each other going by sending our run times back and forth. I’m not saying I’ve monumentally changed, but something is different. I feel a little more alive.

I didn’t write this to get you to make monumental changes or because I had something brilliant to say. I came on here because this felt honest, and because I needed to share my feelings. This moment in my life, this small shift, reminded me that change doesn’t always come from big inspiration. Sometimes it starts with a small decision to do something different. So if you’re in a place that doesn’t feel the best, maybe this is your sign. Do one small thing differently. Show up once. You don’t have to fix everything. You just have to begin.

Good Shabbos

All the best!

Avroham Yehudah Ross