For the past three months, I’ve sat down every week with the intention of writing something meaningful, only to stop after a paragraph or two. Life is busy, especially since my wife and I welcomed our son, Shimon, into the world. I cherish every moment with him, but time feels scarce, and my perfectionist tendencies don’t help. I convince myself that if I can’t write something great, it’s not worth sharing. This “all-or-nothing” mindset has held me back—not just with writing, but with so many other goals. It’s something I know I need to change.
Take streaks, for example. I’ve always focused on keeping up with them—whether it’s wearing tefillin, exercising, or learning. But when the streak breaks, it feels like all the progress is lost. I’ve come to realize how harmful that mindset is. The truth is, the past doesn’t define what I can do right now. Instead of aiming for perfection or long-term promises, I’m choosing to focus on today. I’m not committing to writing every week, running a marathon, or anything else. Right now, I have 20 minutes, and I’m writing this. Later, maybe I’ll post in the Tefillin Squad and learn with Akiva. Tomorrow? Who knows. But today, I’m doing what I can.
Last Shabbos, while reading this week’s parsha, I reflected on Sarah’s 127 years. That’s a long time—my life plus over a century! It made me think about all the goals I have and the things I haven’t done yet. I caught myself starting to “should” on myself, remembering the quote by Robert Ellis: “Don’t should on yourself.” Instead of dwelling on what I should have done or worrying about what’s ahead, I realized the lesson is about focusing on now. This moment is all we really have. What’s one thing you can do, right this second, to make your life or someone else’s better? Start small, and let’s move forward from there.
Good Shabbos
All the best
Avroham Y Ross
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